Almost 9 with the mind and temperament of a High School valedictorian on the first day of college - Max the Meticulous Mind.

A 6 1/2 grace-filled beauty that loves Jesus but still can spin the truth a little - Ella the Elegant Exaggerator.  

And a 3 year old that spits in the face of fear, steps on the neck of her opponents and laughs incessantly, all while demanding she is the king of the world.  This is "that one" - Phinley the Fierce Phenom.

Those are my kids.

All are tenderhearted and compassionate and all have a deep desire for Jesus and His Holy Spirit.

But they’re 9, 6 1/2, and 3, you know? They are kids. They are little, loud, crazy, learning, excited, fussy, hungry, bored, tired, hungry, sleepy, want to play, need attention, hungry, and hungry.

As God began to speak about Selah Memphis and this new journey, I flipped the switch.  If you know me, have worked with me, or live with and have to put up with me 24 hours a day (love you, baby), you know I have a switch I flip.  I think this is because I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid and was taught how to concentrate vs. having to take meds; it worked for me.  I was taught to focus on the most important things - the Lord being the thing I MUST seek first.  Thus came the development of a laser-focused switch.

This can be a great thing, but I have also learned that it creates in me a works-based drive to accomplish the task ahead - no matter what.  And that can sometimes tend to make me run over people.  Like my family.  So as God was speaking Selah Memphis into my heart, I went to flip that switch but I found myself instead desiring to slow the calling because. . .  they are just kids.

Although I grew up in ministry, I haven't experienced a lacking because of my Dad and Mom being in ministry and all the demands that can place on pastors.  But I have seen many a man, friend, and co-laborer flip the same switch, and while they have great intentions, their families and kids massively suffer. When did it become the norm that those who are in ministry sacrifice MORE than others who don't fall under that vocation and also acceptably predictable that their kids suffer because of it?  Jesus didn't call my kids to a life of suffering for my name sake.  He calls us all to an abundant life where there will be suffering for His name sake.  Jesus says in:

Matthew 18

6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Jesus! Don't you know that there are little kids present??!?!  He makes a horrific statement in front of the children!  Why?  Why talk about mob-style execution in front of the little ones? 

Jesus has to get our attention here.  We have to protect, encourage, teach and help grow our kids but not discounting them, or worse - causing them to fall into sin.  We have a choice in the matter.   Kids bring perspective about the simplicity of faith.  Because of my experience as an adult, I have the ability to simplify some things that are difficult.  But I also, because of experiences, have the ability to make difficult the simplest things.  We must choose to have a perspective like He says a couple of verses before verse 6:

Matthew 18

2 And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3 and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5 “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me...

So....back to my switch that I began to think too much about.  I wasn't going to let this new thing that God was calling US to become something that created a fracture between our kids and Jesus' bride.  It feels like a millstone already is around my neck as I process the impact on their little lives, so I am just currently avoiding pools, ponds, and large bathtubs.  I feel the weight of them having to leave behind friends.  The weight of 2 of the 3 leaving behind the church where salvation and baptism happened.  The weight of trying to explain to them "Daddy isn't building Selah Memphis, Jesus is" and their response of "When is Jesus going to give us a building then?".  The weight of them sharing their rooms, toys, and space with 22 other little kids during our home church days. Processing God's call and the effect it has on our kids feels like the weight of 500 millstones!

BUT. . .

In steps God's gracious correction bringing a change of perspective. OH, THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR LOVING KINDNESS! 

I'm not carrying millstones - even though they are heavy and even though they are stones pertaining to my kids.  These stones aren't for my demise and execution! These stones are for remembrance of what God did!  These heavy stones are FOR my kids - not to carry, but to remember the faithful, loving King of Kings and Lord of Lords!.  As the nation of Israel crossed the Jordan into the Promised Land, this happened:

Joshua 4

5 And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, 6 that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ 7 then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.”

So. . . there is a time to carry the stones, a time to stack the stones, and a time to tell of the stones.  And the latter is the focus. Anne said to me one night as I was struggling to flip my switch, "Do our kids need a paycheck and health care? Or do they need to see God come through on His promises?" 

Switch flipped!