So how has your 2018 been so far?  Bed of roses?  I know it has been for me.  I have never had such a season in my life where everything has gone so right. From my health, home, relationships, family, my job, my finances, the government, the state of the church and the state of the world, 2018 seems to be just charmed. NOT!! 

If you are like me, 2018 has been a daily struggle. Its been so difficult, that there were times I didn't know if I would survive. Honestly there has been so much loss and confusion and pain that I really gave up on "life" more than once this year. It just got to the point where I couldn't handle thinking about the past or the future or anything, its like out of necessity I went into "survival mode". But none of my distractions were working..My favorite sins weren't working, my favorite ways to serve and worship wasn't working, really NOTHING worked, nothing helped. It was real despair. 
Then the Lord showed up. 
(Isn't that just the sweetest phrase?  "Then the Lord showed up!")  
So,  it turns out that this brother of yours just LOVES to be distracted. (in good seasons and bad seasons, I always love my distractions.) Whether its carnal distractions like TV or my health or home, or "spiritual" distractions like the state of the church or worthy programs, I just LOVE my distractions! Anything to keep me from being face to Face with King Jesus, right here, right now.  
And wouldn't you know it?  That's exactly where He wants me! Right here, right now, in His Presence.  
"You make known to me the path of life; you fill me with joy in your Presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand" Psalm 16:11 NIV
When the Lord showed up, He didn't fix my problems. He didn't even talk to me about my problems.  He just told me to let them go. He is showing me in this season how much time I spend dwelling on the past, and worrying about the future, and concerned with matters I shouldn't be.  He is teaching me to be present with Him.  Right now, in this moment. Dependent on Him.  Releasing all things to Him.  And wouldn't you know it, no matter what is going on around me, when I am focused on Him, there really is "joy in His Presence and eternal pleasures at His right hand." 

Our Good Father is teaching me to treat this season of my life like a perilous rock climb. Have you ever watched someone rock climb?  They have this amazing focus, every move they make, every step and every reach is a movement of complete, total, relaxed focus. Rock climbers aren't thinking about their mortgage or what someone said to them the other day when they are up on that cliff. They are living in the moment and they are loving it!! And they know that if they aren't living in the moment, they will fall. 
In this season of my life, I have to live in the moment.  I just can't handle anything else. I have to remember that all my past sins are forgiven (and 20 seconds ago is the past ), and I have to remember that the future belongs to the Lord. I have to just relax and realize Who has got this. (Hint...it ain't me or you..) 
I can only survive if I stay with Him, in the present moment, dependent upon Him. But this isn't just how I survive, its how I thrive! 
The joy I have found by abandoning all my distractions and looking into the Face of the One who Loves me. And BOY does He love me!  Honestly, the adventure and worship and Joy from being in His Presence really baffles me! And the Freedom from releasing everything into His capable hands, oh that's good stuff y'all! 
"Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well". Matthew 6:33. 
And wouldn't you know it?  Dad just takes care of all that stuff I worry about when I spend my time with eyes on Him, in His Presence. Sometimes He uses my hands, sometimes other people.. really doesn't matter. It just matters that He has got this. 

Today I find myself so grateful for despair. So happy that my "life" has fallen apart. So grateful that things haven't gone my way. Because really its all been just "stuff" and "expectations", and it was distracting me from my real life. In Him. Right now. Loved. Rejoiced over. Truly Alive.  
Don't know if I'll ever get to a plateau or will keep climbing for the rest of this earthly life. Doesn't matter. What matters is that I am with Him and He is with me. Everything else will take care of itself. He's really cool that way. 

David Esgro - Selah Memphis Launch Team