The thing is . . .
The art of deflection is a tactic all toddlers learn with mastery and skill. It is always in the most perfect time that our incredibly cute 4 year old breaks out from afar, “DADDY! I LOVE YOU!”. My heart full of joy t-bones my brain full of skepticism at the intersection of Grateful and Suspicious. “Thank you?” I contemplate saying. But “What are you doing?” is another go to. I often wonder what the emotion is that causes her to, in desperation, declare her love for me. Depending on the day, the circumstance, and the fact that I am a great historian when it comes to these “deflection” declarations of love, I walk slowly to the place where my ears perceived the declaration came from - sent out like radar pinging with sonar to locate me, to test my mood, or to buy sweet precious guilt-free time. Usually I discover something broken, something taken, or the likely massive mess. As I try to keep calm and question what is going on, my precious, beautiful, cute, little miniature Goldilocks begins to bat her eye lashes and say “the thing is. . . “
So this is where my mind goes - to the scene in Braveheart where William Wallace is on the front line as the opposing calvary is charging and he keeps telling his men “hold! Hold! HOLD!”. My Daddy’s heart looks at my sweet precious little daughter who is using my emotions to deflect away from the real problem and at the same time she is saying “Daddy, I love you!” William Wallace is in my head screaming “HOLD!” I know she does love me, but in that moment she is hiding behind that love instead of dealing with the reality of the situation.
I feel that Jesus addressed this art of deflection when some asked Him about why the disciples didn’t wash their hands in the traditional way. YES! You read that right. The Pharisees were not happy with how the disciples didn’t obey cultural traditions to the point of accusing them of not washing their hands correctly. This sounds like us now. How many pointless conversations have I had about what someone believes or how they are doing church? It’s too many. It is like talking about someone else’s practice of washing their hands. We have created so many man-made opinions and thoughts that it is gross. I know that I still have them, and I pray that I keep discovering them and rending them out of my life. But please, friend, understand that you have them also. Our opinions and man-made traditions are so much more widespread than worship styles and how you dress at church. Though those are the typically the go-to’s when having this conversation. Please press in and understand - we must really search our hearts with the authority of the Holy Spirit and daily discover new ways that the spirit wants to “reprogram” our way of thinking. Read what Jesus says in His reply to these Pharisees:
8 ‘These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
9 Their worship is a farce,
for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’
My sweet daughter really does love me, but this art of deflection is not limited to the young. Many times in my life, through the Holy Spirit’s revelation, I discover something that is broken, something taken, or a massive mess in myself. When the Heavenly Father graciously leans in to address it, I blurt out something, turn up the worship music louder, or even my personal go-to is to get busy about “the Father’s work”. But I am so grateful that The Creator of all things knows to push past my deflection to get to the real issue.
The scary thing about these deflections is that, if ignored, they create a new reality. In that new reality, I am not transparent before God and so, my relationship with Him is built on a false identity. In my relationship with Him, if I have places in my life that I still control, growth in the Lord becomes hard. The process of becoming more like Him stops. The little parts of my life that I try to control end up becoming the big parts of my life that seem insurmountable. Why is that? It is because God graciously does whatever He can to get me to the point of surrender. The true reality is ultimately going to come to light. He is going to discover (and of course already knows) that I broke something, that I took something, or all about the likely massive mess I have made. When He does shine His holy spotlight in those dark areas of our lives, we must not be the ones that say “The thing is...” Life will start to shift if we will pause and listen to Him say with gentleness and grace, “Ryan, the thing is...” When I find out what His perspective is on my life and I give Him space to let me know what “the thing is”, that is when I - with everything in me - blurt out at the top of my lungs, “I LOVE YOU!” Even as I am typing this right now, I am visualizing our Heavenly Father laughing with joy and blurting out in the same manner, “THE THING IS . . . I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!”