Kill Obligation
I have a dear friend who is a great encourager and might be one of the most genuine people I know. He is a great servant and would help greet people and serve them at church on Sunday mornings. We have a game we play every time we see each other. Without a word said or a question asked the first one to say "Fine, how are you!" wins. It's genuinely sarcastic! Genuine in the fact that I really do want to know how my friend is doing, sarcastic in the fact that we live in a culture where that answer dismisses people out of our lives more than it welcomes them into our lives.
I have, for many years, called this the "glass-door effect". Almost all churches have glass doors at their entrances and usually on Sunday mornings there is someone there holding that glass door open. Then it comes. . . the "FINE" interaction. For all of us, there is this small, brief interaction of obligation. Glass doors are welcoming because they are transparent, and you can see whats going on inside before you open the door. You get what you see. The transparency of those glass doors should be the microcosm of the community that makes up the church. Yet for many churches the opposite takes place at these thresholds. There is usually a door holder there (like my friend) who is excited and bubbly (my southern baptist friends can relate more to the candy being handed out than the bubbly personality). But this door holder welcomes you, then comes the slow motion smile, and finally the obligatory "Fine!" or "Thanks" leaks past the straining cheek muscles.
Jesus calls us to transparency. Grace is very misunderstood and, because of that, we create this obligation to be, say, do, and act in certain ways. We end up spending our lives trying to keep it all propped up, all the while struggling to get a breath of fresh air. This misunderstanding of grace has always been there. At the end of John 7, there are a group of religious leaders who are unable to process Jesus and some of His scandalous claims of grace. Then comes chapter 8...
1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”
These religious leaders were caught up in obligation. They were "obligated" to stone her but Jesus flips it on them. Think about it, the Law is clear, and yet Jesus doesn't stone her. Why? Jesus, being God, sees the desires of our hearts. When we act in obligation vs. genuine desire, He doesn't want to have anything to do with that false worship. Those leaders wouldlay their heads on their pillows that night feeling accomplished and that they had done “The Lord's work", but with what motives? We know that they were just conspiring to entrap Jesus. We also know that we operate under obligation we put Jesus in a limited box. When we place Jesus in that position, He always comes out swinging with grace punches.
We know that this interaction happens about 6 months before publicly condemns the religious leadership (see Matthew 23). So why does Jesus bend down to write in private instead of shouting whatever it is He is writing? IT'S GRACE! Jesus starts with grace. Those of us who reject grace embrace what Jesus is saying in Matthew 23 without even knowing it.
So what did He write? Many have said He wrote the sins of the religious leaders. But whatever it is that He wrote, it was an opportunity. Jesus ALWAYS gives an opportunity for us to respond in a relational way with Him. If He did write their sins the first time he bent down, I think the second time could have been Him erasing them!
What about religion makes me feel so obligated? I feel it comes from the fact that we believe the Father thinks like we do. We think that when the Father kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden that we need to show Him how sorry we are. But Jesus's role is to show us how to kill obligation and revive the relationship that The Father sent Him to restore. This restoration is not just for those with crazy stories in their past (like the adulterous woman) but for the religious as well.
So I write this to THE Church: Kill obligation!
If you don't desire to give, don't!
If you don't desire to serve, don't!
If you don't desire to go, don't!
If we respond to a loving Father who desires the best for us simply out of obligation, we will create a very unhealthy relationship.
BUT when I desire to give, serve, go, ect. . . and I respond to those desires in obedience, that relationship actually turns out just "FINE"!