I am them
I have, for a long time, struggled with how to communicate my thoughts and feelings about a unique thing that happens in all of us. But then a few years ago God gave me this image that is trapped in my mind which led me to this realization: I am them. Let me explain...
Back when we lived in Mississippi and only had two kids, we signed our oldest up for soccer. He was in the youngest age group and it was awesome! Preparation each Saturday was all about hype. Max would either listen to Skillet and/or P.O.D. to get his preschooler-self ready to play and it showed on the field. Then came September 14, 2013. This was Max’s 4th birthday AND it was a game day. Pulling up to the field, I told him he should score 4 goals since he was turning 4 and he really latched onto the idea. I am not sure if it was the P.O.D., the surge of birthday strength, or the challenge that I laid out before him, but something flipped. Right after kickoff, we looked up and Max was nose to nose with a kid from the other team with a ready-to-fight look on his face. With a heart full of pride (and little horror) I stepped onto the field to break it up. I could hear Max saying “Today’s my 4th birthday and I am going to score 4 goals and win!” Just then, the other kid (who I had already mentally classified to the level of a drug dealer who had somehow provoked this righteous anger to come out of my God-fearing son) spoke up and said, “No it’s not! ITS MY BIRTHDAY”. I decided to bow out of this higher brow conversation and stepped back to the sideline where this other boy’s Dad asked me, “Is it your son’s birthday too?”. Having an interaction with that other sweet, birthday-celebrating family that day gave me a perspective change that I am grateful for even today.
I am them.
I had convinced myself of the uniqueness of my son, and all while this other family was doing the same. I can be so convincing to myself. The problem is this: when I am busy convincing myself about something, I am not listening to anyone else. The Bible says it this way;
18There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.
I understand that I might not be the best listener.
I understand that people who carry the label "Pastor" are connected to a group of people who are generalized as intolerant and stubborn.
I understand that unwillingness to listen can be subconscious and not intentional.
I understand the unintended irony of this blog being a "one-way" conversation thus I'm not able to "listen".
But with understanding this and more I have to unfairly ask for something from you.
Please read/listen.
As believers and followers of Jesus, we are to be the world’s best at being able to listen and knowing when to speak. We have lost our way in this. Growing up I had famous quotes all over my walls in my room. One still sticks out and over the last few months it has been bouncing around in my head again.
“What you do thunders so loud I cannot hear what you say.”
I used that! Isn't that my problem? Isn't that our problem? We USE a quote like this. When I used it I became the one saying it. But I never said it; Emerson did. So where does that put me? I am the one that should be listening to that quote instead of using it.
What do I do that eliminates the Good News I have before it gets off the tip of my tongue?
Here is what I think the answer is for me and for most of us. I talk, express opinion, try to teach, and I DON'T listen like I should. I don't pause enough to listen with Holy Spirit intent. Or I pause under the guise of "listening" just long enough to formulate my thoughts and opinions.
Jesus was the best teacher in all of history, and in the 4 gospels He only directly answered 3 questions of the 183 He was asked. And to further prove He was a great listener, Jesus asked 307 questions. He literally wanted to hear someone else answer a question 100 times more than He wanted to answer. Now of course He taught in lots of monologue settings but let’s not move past the fact that Jesus listens.
In today’s world of shouting and screaming, protesting and isolation, I need to be a better listener because I am them.
In Mark 5, Jesus encounters massive disrespect and a obscene vulgar protest from a man who has been possessed. This man is naked, cutting himself, dragging around broken bonds and chains, and living ALONE in the graveyard. Jesus and the disciples are traveling across the lake in a boat (we find out later that after Jesus heals this man, He gets back in the boat returning across the lake revealing that this man who was alone and hurting was the sole purpose of Jesus’s journey that day). In the chaos and drama of dealing with a naked, crazy, demon-possessed guy, Jesus does not teach. He gives the man no instructions. Instead, Jesus asks him one of those 307 questions. In fact, the only thing that comes out of Jesus's mouth is a question and then He heals the man.
7 And crying out with a loud voice, he said, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me.” 8 For he was saying to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” 9 And Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”
Do you see it? Jesus asked him what brand the bonds and chains were that was wearing so that Jesus could go on the all-out offensive on Facebook in a campaign against that brand because of the offense He felt in the drama of the moment.
NO!!!
Jesus pushed past the drama to listen!
I am them. Whoever is the conscious or sub-conscious “them” in your mind, flip your perspective and you will find yourself in their story. Jesus made the choice to be one of us - to be able to look across the room and say, “I am them” - and he pushed past differences and cultural norms and offense to listen. He put Himself in our story so that we could be part of His story. So, if you’re looking to be more like Jesus to your community, try one of the things He did most often and best - put yourself in their shoes and listen.